Dating FAQs
The 18 Inch Journey is a 2-month program, and the primary purpose of coming here is to pull away from your normal life and tuck into a deep season with God. We recognize that your “normal” includes a level of connection with your significant other that will shift as you enter this time. Below, we have given some practical insights into what that might look like so that you and your dating partner can begin to talk about that ahead of time. Although these might not cover everything, we hope our responses to these frequently asked questions will help set you up for success.
What can I realistically expect for communication with my dating partner?
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As outlined in our last homework assignment, you will be shifting from being “constantly available” to “intentionally available.” Because we are asking you to unplug, texting all throughout the day won’t be possible and calling everyday will probably not be realistic. We want you to stay present to the people around you and the things that are happening in your heart. We intentionally plan every moment of the school, which includes free time throughout the week and a rhythm of Sabbath on Sundays. These free times can be used for homework, one-on-ones, rest, and play. You can make calls during these times, though you will need to navigate your capacity and be honest with your partner about what is and isn’t working.
How much can I share about what I’m learning with my partner?
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Since your partner is not doing the 18 Inch Journey, it will be impossible to share with them everything you are learning. We encourage you to let that pressure go! It would not be fair to you or your significant other to take on the responsibility of teaching them things that you are just beginning to learn for yourself. The greatest gift you can give them is to fully give in to your own transformation, to soften before God and let Him affect you personally. This journey of transformation gives you testimony to share instead of just information to repeat. Testimony is what deeply affects and inspires the people we love, so we encourage you to be patient with sharing your whole process.
How much will I talk about my dating relationship in one-on-one's?
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We want to know about your relationship! We are already grateful for the context you’ve shared in your Intake Form and are excited to learn more when you are here. This being said, we will typically look for the deeper roots beneath the tension & beauty you’re experiencing in your relationship. When discussing your relationship, we will likely focus on what this relationship is producing in your own life and what you are bringing into the relationship based on the rest of your story.
My partner is so supportive of me coming. What do you mean this could be hard?!
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You are going to experience beautiful growth and transformation throughout the 18 Inch Journey. Although your dating partner may be excited for you, it would be impossible for you to keep your partner totally up to speed. This can create tension! While you are experiencing something brand new, they will typically still be in a similar season – one in which you were a major part of their everyday life. That adjustment can be tough, so we encourage you to talk openly about it. It is a sacrifice to change your normal relational dynamic with your dating partner and it will require effort to stay in healthy communication with them. There may be tension, but we believe that when tension is stewarded well it can produce beautiful fruit. We encourage you to keep an open dialogue with the Lord as well as your one-on-one leader about how stewarding that tension is going. This can take a lot of humility, but we believe you have what it takes to show up for it!
We hope this helps you to have powerful conversations as you prepare for your 18 Inch Journey. Our desire is that by talking through some of these things ahead of time, we can help set you up to have healthy and helpful expectations with your partner. Please reach out if you have any additional questions. We are full of anticipation for the season ahead with you!